Thursday, 6 December 2007

What Women Want

A couple of months ago I posted a piece about Marco Pierre White. I won't dig up old dirt, other than to repeat one small excerpt from that post: "Along with that single-minded drive for success came the fiery temperament and the explosive headlines that reflected it... the marital bust-ups and flirtations, the sambuca trick that led to self-immolation, the verbal assaults on commis chefs and customers". Five minutes on Google and any reasonable and fair-minded female could build a convincing case for judicial castration with optional strait-jacketing. Or leastways, that's what I thought.

Marco - women's idea of sex in the kitchenI said in that post that I thought Marco had done exceptionally well as the host of Hell's Kitchen. And to illustrate my point, I posted three short video clips from the series, uploaded onto YouTube.

What I didn't expect at the time was that, within two months, over 20,000 people would have viewed those three clips. I say "people", but I think you know what gender we are talking about here.

Quite a few of those viewers posted comments on my YouTube account.

Here's a selection of the comments I've received so far on Marco the Gorilla:

"Beautiful Marco........"
"God, he's sexy."
"Have you seen pics of him in autobiog? He was gooooooooooogus and still is."
"He is hot hot hot, I'm so glad you all agree cos my friends think I'm crazy!"
"He is so sexy, get him back on TV!"
"I love the picture of him smoking that's hung behind them in his officey thing..."
"I want him!!!"
"So do I! He is smokin'!!"
"Me too!! ha ha!! he is sooo sexy!!"
"Marco's an adorable genius!"
"Mmmmmmmmm yummy lol"
"My friends also think I'm crazy but agree, he is so hot!"
"Oh god yeah. He is hot."
"Oooh he can take me by the hand any day!"
"So sexy whatta beast lol."
"Sooooooooooooo sexy!!! "
"Was he a tennis pro? I love the Barry White playing."
"What a god!!!!!!"
"With this teaching, anyone can cook, haha."

I just love the reference to Marco's office. For those who missed the whole deal, here's a clip of Marco losing his marbles in "his officey thing".

Oh, hang on a minute. There's one more comment I missed earlier:

"He looks like someone just dug him up. But I'm not female I suppose!"

I presume the last person meant "But I suppose that's because I'm not female", rather than just giving in to gender ambiguity. Whatever the case, I'm with you mate. Marco looks to me like someone just dug him up. But then I'm definitely not female. Whereas every one of the commenters above is. What a strange world we live in.

Postscript: I wasn't the only person who thought Marco did well on Hell's Kitchen. Shortly after the series ended, news came of an exclusive three-year deal with ITV, involving several one-off specials and series, including going head-to-head with a former kitchen trainee of his who now runs a few restaurants around the place and who has a similar contract with Channel 4. Now that will be interesting.


Chef F said...

Women love bastards. The more bastard and rude the better. That's the only way they feel safe.

Sarah-82 said...

I agree- just dug up from some untended allotment is a perfectly fitting analogy. I am female and therefore must contradict all the laws of attraction. Now, Russell Brand on the other hand.......

L said...

It was strange - when Hell's Kitchen was on, a panicked sister called me up. "I think I fancy Marco. Am I sick? I feel dirty" (we're in our early 20s). I agreed that I, too, felt the attraction.

Then we went to wash our eyes out.

Mallika said...

I have to say I agree with the sensible man. The unwashed, dirty apron wearing type never really did rock my boat...

William said...

Which just goes to show you: the more monstrous you are the more successful your TV show. I had no idea that women love this, though!

Trig said...

Interesting to see how the comments reflect every view, from misogyny to guilt. It takes all sorts, I suppose. Keep it coming!

ros said...

I'm afraid I also don't understand the attraction to Marco-Pierre White. But then, I suppose that might be because I know that I could never get along with someone with an ego that rivals mine in size.

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